New Amsterdam (1.7)

Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 9 PM

FOX

New Amsterdam, Season 1 - Episode 7 - "Reclassified"

AKA"Thank God there is Only One More Episode Left"

Fox

John becomes fixated on granting the dying wish of his first partner, Andy, who is slowly wasting away from leukemia caused by a bullet lodged in his heart. Andy wants the unknown shooter brought to justice before he dies, but the case is more convoluted than anyone originally believes. Memories of John’s beginnings as a homicide detective help him not only piece together clues to his friend’s case, but also prompt John to realize he may be nearing the end of his quest for love and mortality. However, he embarks down a precarious path as his investigation leads to altercations with the Russian mafia and culminates with a shocking end. (Fox.com)

Marmot: My name's New Amsterdam, look at me I'm 400 years, old look at me.

Manatee: That's a really good impression! How long have you been working on it?

Marmot: 5 episodes

Manatee: I don't even know what to say about the show last night. What tired dialogue, cliché characters, lame storyline...

Marmot: Crap. It was complete crap. It was so obvious who shot Johnny Soho's cliche of an ex-partner, that I lost interest 10 minutes into the episode.

Manatee: And what an ending... he gets shot (which we saw in last weeks previews) and in the last 30 seconds we see him alive in the hospital... what kind of cliff hanger is that?! I think these writers need to retake Creative Writing 101.

Marmot: I also don't think they understand the concept of creating rules for their world. For instance, if he's a homicide detective, why is he handling hostage negotiation in the opening scene?

Manatee: I was going to ask you that. Don't they have trained negotiators in NYPD? Why even have that scene. It did not seem to fit in with the rest of the show. It did not lead anywhere, nor did it work thematically. Why not just open with him getting the late night call from the old partner's wife?

Marmot: Or even sitting in a chair drinking a cup of water. That would have been just as interesting and possibly a little more rewarding. The best thing about that scene? The half-dozen or so "STATE" pennants all over the kid's room. Let's hear it for creative set decoration!

Manatee: They were all different colors! That must have been hard to make.

Marmot: How many different States was this kid a fan of?

Manatee: At least 3 or 4

Marmot: Let me guess: New York (obviously), Connecticut, Denver and Iowa.

Manatee: I might guess Michigan. More puzzling, how many 9/11 references can you squeeze into one episode?

Marmot: I hate to make light of it, but it's become a cliché. There are a thousand less obvious things that could have led Amsterdam to becoming a cop.

Manatee: It's definitely a serious matter, and it was not treated delicately on this show. It was just thrown out there. You're right, there are a ton of other reasons to become an NYPD cop. For example, you are tired of being a carnie (did I mishear or did he mention that he was a carnie at one point?)

Marmot: If he did, I missed it, but that is a flashback I want to see. I wish we could watch this show from the perspective of the people around him. Like his partner, who is probably constantly searching for another job when she's not working or his son, who no doubt curses the fact that his dead looks 30 years younger than he does and won't leave him alone.

Manatee: It's an interesting thought to switch it around. I would like to see it from the Sarg's perspective... "Purple pumps don't go with my badge." Did you see in the preview that Amsterdam throws his badge at her?! And calls her something like little miss sunshine... Maybe, with any luck, the badge will be thrown at the exact angle and speed required to puncture her jugular and kill her.

Marmot: There is no way that would ever happen. The gods of TV are not that merciful

Manatee: Hmm... Maybe they can bring back the world's worst assassin (who apparently thinks it is ok to shoot you in the shoulder to kill you) and they can bruise her up a little. Or those 2 cheesy masked guys who were a part of the worst fight sequence ever on TV. "And the Academy's Award for the poorest choreographed fight scene goes to... (open envelope, drum roll)... New Amsterdam, Episode #7."

Marmot: What kind of assassin misses at point blank range, doesn't wear a mask and leaves an obvious witness? Why is everyone on this show inept?! The doctor, the Sargeant, the killer, everyone!

Manatee: Don't forget, the writers, actors, producers, and directors.

Marmot: The only competent one is the dog. And he looks like he wants out more than anyone else.

Canterbury’s Law (1.4)

Friday, April 4 @ 9pm

FOX

Canterbury’s Law – Season 1, Episode 4 – “Sweet Sixteen”

While dealing with the aftermath of being arrested and jailed overnight for jury tampering and perjury, Elizabeth defends Izzy and Linda, high-school students accused of soliciting murder. When Linda secretly switches lawyers and cuts a deal, it's a case of she said-she said, and Elizabeth must learn to decipher high-school doublespeak if she's going to save her client. (Fox.com)

"Your Honor, there was not a collective gasp when I announced a surprise witness. I move for mistrial."

Manatee: Why do I have such a hard time following this show? Thank goodness for DVR otherwise how could I rewind every 3 minutes to replay dumb scenes?!

Marmot: It's because the show is boring and predictable. I had to re-watch a scene or two, myself. I could make a list of all the characters and storylines and characters I don't like about this show, but I think it would be easier to list what I find interesting: Martin (the office assistant). Who is this guy? What's his MO?

Manatee: He showed up once in last week's episode, with some small remark, about what I can't remember. But this week he was all about the corny sexual jokes! And it was not even funny!

Marmot: If this show ever gets a spin-off, it should follow his life. What kind of assistant blatantly comes on to two female superiors and then tries to sit in on a staff meeting? Only an awesome one.

Manatee: I was glad to see the token black guy getting some more face time, in a legit courtroom kind of way.

Marmot: That stuff caught me off guard. In all the other episodes, I thought him and the girl in the office were her minions. I didn't think they had cases of their own. It just made me realize that I have no understanding of how the legal system works.

Manatee: Well, you may not know, but I don't think the writers on this show do either! haha. But I get the impression that Canterbury is a micro manager and oversees everything and they are always minions... just either as 2nd chair or as office researchers. Though last week, Black guy did have his own case which he handed off to white chick without a license.

Marmot: Oh that's right. I think I would hate to work for her, in any business. Imagine you're there, cooking up a Big Mac, just doing your job and Elizabeth Canterbury busts in, screaming "SESAME SEED BUN, NOT REGULAR! You're off the burger!"

Manatee: I really have little feeling toward that character. I can't even feel bad for her that she was thrown into jail and had to be bailed out at 3 AM. Or that her husband left her... I mean she was cheating for goodness sake!

Marmot: That's where I got a little confused last week. Did she cheat once, or was it continuous? And is that worse than him sleeping with one of his students? (Side note: a college professor sleeping with one of his students? How cliché.)

Manatee: That's a good question. I assumed that it was a repeative thing... not just a one time mistake. Maybe that's because I assume she is a bad person. But sleeping with your student is pretty bad, and cliche. When Russell bailed her out, she was a total b-i-t-c-h... and I was hoping for maybe a sentimental moment there. It didn't come. Then when she calls Russell again to "bail" her out at home, she's totally cold - there was almost a moment where we saw some emotional fiber (she starts crying, he notices her husband's closet is cleaned out, etc) and it turns into a CSI Miami moment. Russell: "Why'd he leave?" Canterbury/Caruso: "I think the question is, (puts on sunglasses) why didn't he leave earlier?" (MUSIC CUE: The Who)

Marmot: Oh my god, if Juliana Marguilles would only channel Caruso all the time, this show would be ten times as watchable.

Manatee: She also has the most abusive courtrooms ever!

Marmot: Every one of those court scenes is so ridiculous. Even Markie Post was held in contempt when she was on Night Court. Of course, she was never arrested for jury tampering, but that was because it was only a half hour show. And there was no jury.

Manatee: I was wondering, wouldn't it be a conflict for her to be defending while he is prosecuting her client? Shouldn't there be an asst DA on the case, or one of her other "children" (as she likes to call them)?

Marmot: You would think that there is some kind of a conflict of interest there. But this is Rhode Island. Normal rules don't apply. I mean, come on, it's barely even a state.

Manatee: That's true, it's not really a state... and I don't think there are rich people there either, which means that whole rich vs. poor theme was crap!

Marmot: You know, I never really saw much of a difference between the rich girl and the poor girl. There was the (oft-repeated) line about Poor Mom having to mortgage her house to pay for Canterbury, but lawyers are expensive people.

Manatee: I guess that since the Rich girl got off pretty easily - that was supposed to show you the difference in class. But honestly, I think a better ending would have been if the rich girl and poor girl were in on the plan together. Since they came off as such morons, what if the rich girl hatched the idea to get off with the DA and the poor girl was in on that... then they set it up to turn on each other, so that they could both get off. Following me? That's a more Law and Order ending.

New Amsterdam (1.6)

Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 9 PM

FOX

New Amsterdam, Season 1 - Episode 6 - "Legacy"

When police find a bullet-ridden body in an apartment in Chinatown, John and Eva are called to investigate. The deceased young man's striking similarity to Roosevelt, a lost son of John's from the early 1900s, prompts him to take a personal stance on the case. The search for the killer leads John to the Spoors, a violent crime family headed by Roosevelt's kin. The discovery makes John question the actions of his past and the reverberating consequences they have on those around him. (Fox.com)

Because there just wasn't anything funnier. (Fox)

Marmot: It's such a clumsy show.

Manatee: It really is. My first thought was how does his son from 1930 look exactly like this other kid, who he may or may not be related to?

Marmot: Indian magic, of course. It flows through his blood. I was really confused by the family in this one. The kid who died was the grandson of the old man in the wheelchair. John "Dutch" Amsterdam-York was supposedly the old man's grandfather. But I thought the brother of the victim said that his great-grandfather (Amsterdam) was a painter and left his family. So he should have said "great-great grandfather". Or did he and I just missed it because I was busy not paying attention?

Manatee: Hmm, I will have to draw a family tree for this one... which would require that I put in effort for this show. The wheelchair guy may have been their dad? Then the great-grandfather would have been correct.

Marmot: No I think the old man in the wheelchair was their grandfather. Whether it was the grandfather, great grandfather...it's just super-confusing. I think the show is going to exhaust its believability soon. I mean, how far can I guy run away from his family in 1913 without leaving New York?

Manatee: I think you are right. Also they need a better writer's asst or supervisor because too many mistakes are made, and their math sucks! It's great that the production designer made a "family tree" for Amsterdam, but how about one for the writers?

Marmot: I would like to think that they planned his whole life before they started writing, but I somehow doubt it.

Manatee: I'm sure each week they sat around and said what cool job can he have this week? Furniture maker? Artist? Doctor? and so on.

Marmot: Yeah, there's no consistency on this show.

Manatee: I know we have discussed the flashbacks in great detail before, but this week was particularly frustrating as it worked on 2 levels. How can 1 flashback relate to 2 different, totally unrelated issues in his life at once?! 1-The dead kid is his relative, and he must flashback to remember the Family Tree to relate to this week’s murder. 2- He also cheated on that son's mother and his new girlfriend wants to know if he cheated. How convenient that both unrelated issues in 2008 were in the same week in 1913! Also, if you were 400 years old, how good is your memory? My grandma's is not so good at 89. Nor can I always remember what happened a few years ago. How can he have such vivid memories from hundreds of years ago!? So much has happened to him, shouldn’t he have forgotten some stuff... like 1730-1790 or 1801-1815?

Marmot: Well, I have trouble remembering things that happened to me last week. Given that I am approximately 1/12 as old as he is (in marmot years), he should be forgetting on a 4th grade level. Wait, I think my math might be off.

Manatee: You could be a writer on the show then!

Marmot: I should be. Get me Dutchie Amsterdam on the line! Something else I really hate about this show is Blonde Sargeant. Are they sure that she's their boss and not some crazy woman who just showed up one day and started pretending to work there?

Manatee: I know - what was up with that "Partners are like married couples but without the sex" line? Why is she on this show?

Marmot: She's like that girl in an office who doesn't really work, but just walks around all day and makes a bunch of suggestive comments in an attempt to get someone to talk to her. Every office has one.

Manatee: I hate to ask? But which one of us is it in our office Marmot? Haha. What was up with the ending, where the Dr. Girlfriend just shows back up?

Marmot: Dr. Girlfriend is kind of an idiot. I would be frightened if she was my doctor.

Manatee: Never move to NYC, you run the risk of ending up in her ER.

Marmot: No kidding. First, her idea of a background check is Googling her boyfriend's name, then she doesn't consider that he might be 400 years old, even though that's what the show is about, then she straight up asks him if he's ever cheated before and just decides, "eh, what are the odds that he'll do it again?"

Manatee: Well, at least he isn't married!

Marmot: One last note about this show, and I think it's a big one. John Amsterdam is a boring character. A good character is flawed; they have internal problems that they struggle to fix. In most of his flashbacks, we learn things about him that make him inherently more interesting: he was an adulterer, murderer, coward, alcoholic - but all of these occur in the past, so the character we are watching - one who has atoned for his sins and is not literally waiting for death - is not very interesting.

Manatee: That's an outstanding point. I think you hit the nail on the head.

Canterbury's Law (1.3)

Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 9 PM

FOX

Canterbury's Law, Season 1 - Episode 3 - "What Goes Around"

"A vindictive Deputy Attorney General Williams builds a case against Elizabeth, impaneling a Grand Jury and executing search warrants in his effort to prove that she broke the law while defending accused child murderer Ethan Foster. Elizabeth is in the dark at first, but when Russell and Chester get wind of Williams' vendetta, they refuse to let her shutter Canterbury & Associates. Meanwhile, a terrified and unprepared Molly mounts her first defense; and after an important university faculty event, the gulf between Matt and Elizabeth becomes heartbreakingly apparent." (Fox.com)

From zero to divorce in under three episodes. (FOX )

Marmot: Canterbury's Law? Can't Watch anymore is more like it

Manatee: I know. That show is so all over the place.

Marmot: What a mess. Why have her flunkies' suddenly been given their own storylines? And why is Keith David doing this show?

Manatee: I was wondering the same thing. If you are going to give the underlings their own stories, their characters should have been a little more developed in previous episodes. The episode would have been more effective if we knew something about these characters. They've said about 10 words in the last 2 episodes. They have no personality and now the writers are trying to throw them into random scenes. Also interesting, I think Russell is a "partner" not just an underling. Though he has acted like an employee the whole time. Plus, who the heck was Martin? That random assistant who showed up once in the office!!!

Marmot: What was the deal with Russell? He was disbarred? I felt like I missed 2 or 3 episodes.

Manatee: Did we? I was thinking #3 was early for her to be in such hot water!

Marmot: It feels like it should come during sweeps. I don't know how much these episodes were affected by the strike. If they were written in anticipation of it, I can understand the jumping right into it. But if they weren't I'm really curious to see how the rest of the show would play out, if the story is this frenetic and fast-paced 3 episodes in. Even so, I don't feel anything for these other 2 characters. Well, I don't feel anything for any of them, but that's beside the point. A little back-story would have been nice.

Manatee: Agreed on the back-story. I feel no connection to any of them. Except Canterbury and maybe her husband and the PI.

Marmot: And the "my father is a Senator, but I'm taking my own path" story? There's only 100 Senators in the country and this has become cliché.

Manatee: That was not the only cliché scene. How about the drunken "affair/missing kid" fight? I feel like that fight scene has been played out too, almost word for word.

Marmot: I was actually hoping they would get into a fistfight during that scene. One of those long drawn-out ones, like they do on Family Guy with Peter and the Chicken.

Manatee: haha. That would have been a great improvement! It's such a dumb dynamic between Canterbury and her husband. At the start of the episode, they are happy in bed together, and at the end they are at each other's throats. Granted they are both having affairs... and have a missing kid... why are they still together?

Marmot: I agree. There's plenty of conflict in her life already. The decay - nay, demolition - of her marriage is just too much.

Manatee: How much longer before Fox pulls the plug?

Marmot: I think they'll play out the last 3 and kill it. Of course, that depends on how their pilot season plays out. I think there might be a show worth watching in there, but it's going to take a lot of refinement before it gets to that point.

Manatee: I'm really looking forward to Fox canceling this show. I LOVE law shows, but this one rubs me the wrong way. It's not unwatchable (see: Return of Jezebel James) but it is an unnecessary hour of TV watching.

Marmot: It would need a major overhaul before I would want to watch again. Especially in the directing. There's too much handheld, odd angles, fast zooms. It only detracts from the intense scenes instead of enhancing them.

Manatee: I suppose they are trying to be different? But I know what you mean.