The Return of Jezebel James (1.3)

Friday, March 21st, 2008 at 8:30 PM

FOX

The Return of Jezebel James , Season 1 - Episode #3- "Needles and Schlag"

Marmot: The Return of Jezebel James is an abomination

Manatee: I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure I can watch it anymore.

Marmot: I don't think so either. It's too painful. I thought of all the other things I could have done with those 22 minutes - eat, read, stare into space

Manatee: I don't even laugh - not even smile. It's the most annoying show!

Marmot: I could have rearranged my cupboards, hit myself repeatedly with a soft but heavy object...anything would have been better. I don't understand how something can be that bad.

Manatee: How did an exec see that and say, “Yes I want that on my network!” Even Emily's Reasons Why Not got pulled after 1 episode. I mean, I know there was a strike and all, but repeats of New Amsterdam would have been better.

Marmot: Agreed. Why doesn't FOX just rerun another episode of House? They don't seem to have any problem doing it any other time.

Manatee: I suppose I could go into every single thing that was dumb, stupid, & unfunny about this show, but we'd be here all day. I might as well just attach the script for those who missed the airing, see for yourself how bad it is.

Marmot: Or you could tell people to beat themselves over the head with a frying pan repeatedly. You walk away with roughly the same effect.

Manatee: What do you think the chances are that it will get picked up for a 2nd season?

Marmot: About the same as an unpopular President getting voted in for a second term despite extreme suspicion surrounding the legitimacy of his first election. Good. It is FOX, after all. They gave Til Death a second season.

Manatee: I want to write Parker Posey a fan mail letter asking her, for the love of God, to quit the show, to use her talents for good not evil, to be in my little sister's high school play (since she will apparently sign up for anything; plus it would have to be better than this show).

Marmot: Ohh, what is Manatee High doing this year?

Manatee: Footloose

Marmot: That's exciting. Is she playing the Sarah Jessica Parker role? Or the Dianne Wiest role? Who is on Return of Jezebel James.

Manatee: Nah, I think we could just use her as an extra.